we need a break.

blog haven't been active this few days as im currently facing some personal problems . i really have nothing to say about anything now . i just want a break from my problems . leave it as it is for the moment . tired of wanting to know the truth, tired of asking what you want . tired of keeping everything to myself. tired of relying on others . now its just me , myself & I . stupid things done this few days . i really felt helpless & useless , unabling to solve anything . i really dont know what now ? what goes around comes around huh? well this few days hadn't been great for me . thanks those who were by my side .

friday.
lunch with elizabeth > nanhua > meet juliana , yingning , shaoming , yuanlong , jarryl > mamashop > nanhua meet brit & jed > off to lot one with yingning , jed , yuanlong > cab home around 12.

saturday.
juliana house slack with yingning , jed > home around 10 > headed to airport fetch sissy at 12.45 > reach home around 2 .

what is happening between us? you said your tired & so am I . let's just take a break from each other now. then solve everything after that ba. whatever you want now, tell me. stop avoiding. i hope everything will be back to normal . its my fault , for hurting you in th first place. for letting go of you the second time, its my fault. it used to be that perfect before . but not now . not anymore . i know its all my fault . i shouldnt have take your existance forgranted in the past . i should have treasure you from the start . now , i realise my mistake , i wannna give you all i've got now, but now, i guess i hurt you too much you dont have th courage to trust my love again? but that was how i felt during th first quarrel over ____ ____ . im full of regrets . after i felt how you feel , i know th pain is more then what you can say .  im sorry for the hurt i made you feel. everything is my fault alright? every damn thing. I didn’t realize it at the time how important you were to me, till we became like this . I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you in th past so I don’t really expect you to forgive me  either. i used to be so heartless to you in the past . & it was cuz of me who talked abt the past to make you feel th pain again . but i just wanted to help you , to step out from the past . but you had not step out from the past.  i know . if i wasnt so heartless in th first place all this wont happen . i was heartless in th first place wanting to prevent hurt from me & you , but i guess things didnt when th way i wanted to . i thought letting go was th best solution , but now , it screwed up . i still am sad over what you did. cuz if you loved me as much as you said you wouldn't have hurt me . what hurt th most was the trust & the promises . but i dont put the blame on you . cuz i understand . i realise my mistake , & im ready to love you th way you loved me but where are you now? are we gonna go through so much pain again & again ? whats left between us , is it only tears ?